So…Transformers 2 sucked.  There is really no doubt about it at this point.  Even the movie’s actors have publicly commented on its poor quality. Here’s what lead actor, Shia Labeouf said recently:

When I saw the second movie I wasn’t impressed with what we did…We got lost. We tried to get bigger. It’s what happens to sequels. It’s like, how do you top the first one? You’ve got to go bigger. Mike went so big that it became too big, and I think you lost the anchor of the movie…You lost a bit of the relationships. Unless you have those relationships, then the movie doesn’t matter. Then it’s just a bunch of robots fighting each other.

Nice Try, Shia.  When people went to see Transformers 2, I’m sure they would have preferred to see “just a bunch of robots fighting each other.” At least then people would have gotten exactly what they were expecting.  It’s an opinion shared by many other people than just myself that the movie should be about the f@#$ing robots. Why are we supposed to give a shit about the people? I already know about people. I am, in fact, a person.  If I want to see in-depth human characters onscreen, I’ll pay to see a drama.  When I see a movie in which the titular characters are giant robots, those are characters that I want to see developed.

The ironic thing is that even with the lack of character development of the actual Transformers, I still cared more about them than I did any of the human characters.  At least the Transformers are rare commodities.  People, on the other hand, are portrayed as ubiquitous, tiny, little clowns; there’s Shia Labeouf running around screaming like a girl, John Torturo wearing a thong, Julie White (Sam’s Mom) tackling Frisbee players while high on weed brownies.  Then there is the cowardly roommate who is completely unnecessary to the story, ranting and whining nonstop.  All they do is make the plot of the movie even more confusing by begging the question: Why are the Autobots so set on saving this bunch of assholes?

In a move that proves that the minds behind the Transformers franchise are still completely missing the point, they’ve added even more human characters to Transformers 3 to be played by Frances McDormand (Burn After Reading), John Malkovich (Burn After Reading), Patrick Dempsey (Grey’s Anatomy), and Ken Jeong (The Hangover, Community).  Maybe they are hoping that bringing in some well respected actors will give the movie credibility.  Unless John Malkovich is playing a Decepticon, I don’t think it will.

Be honest. No one will judge you. What do you think of the Transformers franchise? Are you excited for another installment?


Check out a review of Transformers 2 from the Portland Mercury that nearly made me piss myself laughing: "Robotsploitation"

5/18/2010 12:30:31 am

2 was a little long and over the top, but entertaining. I would give Transformers another try. They have great special affects!


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