Well, I can safely say to you that my prayer did not go unheard. In a phrase, Kick-Ass was Ki.... Kick-Ass was K... I'm sorry I can't say it. I have too much shame. I'll just say that Kick-Ass was F'n nuts.
Disclaimer: I'm not familiar with the Kick-Ass comic created by Mark Millar and John Romita Jr., so I am incapable of griping about any disparities between the movie and comic.
However, I can tell you that Kick-Ass is one of those movies that shows you how important a unique and diverse cast of characters is to a story. Every character had their own quirks that made them all feel...fun, for lack of a better word. You'll leave the theater hard-pressed to think one you didn't like.
The action sequences were some of the most entertaining I've seen since 300. The gore in the film may seem gratuitous to some, but it nicely underscores the theme of “realism.” It doesn't become tedious either. Rather than being your average bullet-filled explosion orgy, every action sequence had its own unique flavor—Hit-Girl might make you afraid of the dark. The ironic musical score that plays while Hit-Girl goes to work is inspired. You'll be laughing as she slices and dices her way through various groups of thugs.
Speaking of Hit-Girl...holy shit. She steals the show. I remember when the red-band trailer for Hit-Girl came out. The comment boards over at Screenrant went crazy arguing over whether or not it was kosher to make a little girl say “c***” in a movie. But, now we can be sure that the equation, (Little Kids + Talking Like Sailors = Hilarious + Awesome), is completely accurate.
The only real thing to complain about was that the titular character did not do as much ass kicking as you would expect, which for all I know could be one of the characteristics of the comic. The plot is more centered around Hit-Girl and Big Daddy than it is around Kick-Ass. But, to me this is a minor gripe when compared to the overall entertainment value of the film.
Kick-Ass is a must-see.