I'm just going to throw this out there: Time travel isn't possible. But who needs it, anyway? The only real benefit of time travel would be the ability to repeatedly skip back to the 8pm-10pm primetime slots to catch all of the TV shows that are on at the same times. And, please, don't give me the “Well, you could go back and assassinate Hitler,” nonsense. What if you failed, huh? What if you were caught and your time travel device was discovered? You, the would-be chrono-assassin, would be responsible for time jumping Nazis. So forget about it, and just be content with the ability to record your favorite shows at the same time.

Sadly though, even with the convenience of Tivo/DVR, there is only so much time in the day. You, the average person doesn't have time to waste checking out a lot of the new primetime programming. It's a good thing for you that I'm slightly below average and have nearly all the time in the world. It's Premier Week so I'll do my best to point your DVR's “Record Series” feature in the right directions.

Here are a couple of this season's new additions for Monday the 20th:

Hawaii Five-O - 10pm Pacific CBS
Right away it's evident that lots of money is being dumped into this rebooted tropical cop series. The premise, which is almost literally explained at the beginning of the show, is that McGarret, a military badass with an impressive resume, is placed in charge of leading a task force that is given carte blanche by the governor to rid the island of the scum that plagues it. The opening scene contained some pretty extravagant amenities for a TV show, i.e. a convoy of army vehicles, a helicopter, a medium to large scale gunfight, and multiple explosions. The high budget action is fairly consistent throughout the entire show, which is entertaining, but we'll see how long that lasts beyond the first few episodes. Surprisingly enough, Hawaii Five-O was not a continuous film reel of gratuitous bikini shots. In fact, the first beach bod doesn't appear until the second half of the show, which you know, is cool I guess... Scott Caan (Entourage, Oceans 11) provides comic relief in the form of dry, caustic, one-liners, which works for me, although I'm not sure he can pull off much else. For a pilot episode, Hawaii Five-O worked for me, but we'll see how long they can maintain the extravagant special effects; Hawaii is an expensive place. If you get a chance, catch an encore episode which I'm sure will be airing some time this week. I'm giving it a “Record Series” for the time being.

The Event - 9pm Pacific NBC
The conclusion of Lost has apparently left a vacuum in the eerie “you have no idea how deep the rabbit hole goes” genre, and now networks are trying to fill that void. NBC's crack at the mysterious comes in the form of The Event. The Event follows a similar format to Lost in that it covers story threads for several characters in both the past and the present simultaneously. This format is great, creating new questions as fast as it answers old ones. However, my initial opinion of the pilot is that The Event won't be able to touch Lost in terms of mysteriosity and wadthefugness (terms created specifically to describe Lost). While Lost had the island, the mystery of The Event is centered around a super secret prison located at the peak of an Alaskan mountain, where the prisoners (we are encouraged to believe) are withholding from the government information more super secret than the prison itself. In case you were worried that The Event is going to have your typical government conspiracy plotline, the last ten minutes of pilot will assure you that whatever “the event” is, it will more than likely be rooted in the supernatural. The Event piqued my interest, but I'm inclined to believe that it will pale in comparison to the reigning king of all mindfucks, Lost. I'm giving it one more episode to reel me in.

Mike and Molly - 9:30pm Pacific CBS
This show is great news for anyone who thought that there were no more fat jokes to be told. Judging what I saw from Mike and Molly there is a team of writers out there that are convinced they can poke fun at chubsters for at least a full season. I wasn't expecting much, but I was pleasantly surprised with CBS's new sitcom. While it didn't have me rolling on the floor (I just strongly considered the use of "ROFLcoptering" right there), it did have it's charm. Mike and Molly takes on fat jokes from many different angles, such as “skinny friend who makes fat jokes;” “fat guy who makes fat jokes about himself;” and my personal favorite, “African waiter who makes fat /starving Africans jokes.” I'll catch a couple more episodes to see if they can keep these fat jokes rolling.


9/21/2010 01:17:49 pm

I've got no t.v. provider at my house, so i have nothing really to contribute here. but just to get this straight. they made a Hawaii 5-0 reboot? is the theme song the same? or at least reminiscent? because i could see myself catching back episodes on hulu just for the opening credits. You're style with these posts is informative, yet intimate. and i enjoyed the uses of wadthefugness and roflcoptering so much i lol'd. But with glee returning tonight, i see myself tuning into hulu for one thing and thing only. Sue Sylvester

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